The Gift in the Gap - Letter 001

🪘 “Wisdom does not come overnight.” — Somali Proverb

Dear Daughter,

There are moments in life when everything around you remains the same — but something within you quietly shifts.

Last week, I found myself in that very space. I had scheduled a catch-up with a woman I deeply admire. We’d worked together before, and I had tucked her in my mind as someone I’d love to have as a mentor. In the days leading up to our call, I drafted the perfect business-friendly agenda. Polished points. Strategic phrasing. Camouflaged vulnerability. I wanted to ask for help without really asking for help.

But when she appeared on the screen — tall, elegant, full of life — all my carefully rehearsed lines fell away. She offered to buy me a coffee, joked about how people who don’t drink coffee and don’t drink wine are beyond her understanding. We laughed, and for a moment, I felt like I could exhale. Like I could show up as me.

And somehow, she saw me. Not just the high-performing, clarity-obsessed version of me. She saw the tired, restless parts, the parts wondering if I’m moving fast enough — or at all

I told her how I’ve been stuck.

How I see the changes that could be made in my team, but I don’t feel empowered to act.

How it feels like my pace is faster than the system I’m inside.

How the hunger to grow sometimes turns into a quiet ache when progress is slow.

And how watching peers rise to director roles or run million-dollar companies makes me feel like I’ve been left behind.

She looked at me deeply and gently, and said words I didn’t even know I needed:

“The slowness is testing your resilience. And that’s a gift.”

She reminded me of one of my life metaphors: Life is a marathon, not a sprint. The pressure I feel isn’t punishment — it’s preparation. Because this? This is the gift in the gap. The grace that grows when no one’s watching.

The resilience I’m quietly building now is the very thing others might need to lean on later.

“Some people will rise fast but fall harder. You’ll have depth, not just height,” she said.

She reminded me that resilience is not glamorous. It’s the trait that grows in silence, in the waiting, in the mundane. It’s not celebrated on LinkedIn or praised in meetings — but it’s what keeps us standing when storms come.

And that’s what struck me most:

Sometimes the most extraordinary thing we can do is live well in the ordinary.

We think transformation comes in the form of big announcements, career shifts, and public wins. But real transformation? It often happens while making coffee, while rewriting a strategy no one will notice, while choosing joy in a slow system, while deciding to still show up with excellence even when the spotlight isn’t there.

Scripture reminds us of this, too:

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."— Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)

Even in the hidden places, God sees. Even in the small steps, He is pleased. The sacred can be found in spreadsheets and emails, in hallway conversations, in faithful work done behind the scenes.

Paul reminded the church in Galatia:

"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."— Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

The Gift in the Gap: Why You’re Not Behind

So here I am, still in the same job, with the same challenges, but no longer with the same lens.

Because one conversation cracked something open.

It reminded me that even if your environment doesn’t change, you can.

If that’s you today — feeling behind, unseen, stuck in a system that’s slower than your spirit — I want you to know this:

You’re not behind. You’re being built.

And one day, your depth will be someone’s anchor. Your strength will be someone’s safe place. Your journey will be someone’s roadmap.

🩷 Becoming Moves

1. Reframe the Waiting

   Write down where you feel “behind.” Now reframe it: What is this gap building in you — depth, patience, clarity, resilience?

2. Practice Excellence in the Ordinary

   Choose one mundane task this week (e.g., email, spreadsheet, school run) and do it with worship, intention, and excellence.

3. Name the Hidden Wins

   List three ways you’ve grown in the past 6 months that aren’t visible on LinkedIn or measurable by metrics — just meaningful to you and God.

4. Anchor in the Word

   Memorise or meditate on Zechariah 4:10 or Galatians 6:9. Let them rewire what you celebrate in your process.

5. Reflect with Someone Safe

   Schedule a catch-up or walk with someone you trust. Don’t rehearse your success — rehearse your truth. Let them see you.

🩷 Scripture Anchors

• Zechariah 4:10 (NLT) – “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.”

• Galatians 6:9 (NIV) – “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

• Romans 5:3–4 (NIV) – “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

• Psalm 27:14 (NIV) – “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

• Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) – “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength…”

Keep going. Keep rising. The sacred is hidden in the small.

Held in the waiting,

Deutina

There is still glory in the gap.